It’s the little things

So, long story short, things have been kinda crappy lately. Money is tighter than ever. Moods are even more strained. All of us are on edge waiting for school to start.

Today my child managed to spend her school supply money on Grand Theft Auto 5, and if Microsoft wont refund I might just hit orbit. I did hit orbit. I hit orbit and bounced off the atmosphere to begin a fiery plummet back to Earth. I pushed my editing ads, I am still researching Patreon, I raged at friends I can trust about how the books are just sitting there, useless.

I also channeled that frustration into gorgeous new covers…but SPOILERS. haha

Anyway, not long ago it was implied that I simply don’t know how to adult. That I refuse to function in the real world, not because I have several chronic illnesses, take care of a husband with narcolepsy, and chase our hyperactive and possibly spectrum kid all day (not counting the TON of work that goes into writing, preparing to market, and query/publish 4+ books)–but because I’m lazy.

I know that’s not true. But that kind of thing eats away at you like slow-acting acid, and even though another person, whose opinion I value more than gold, turned right around and told me I was doing the right thing…it’s really hard to believe I’m doing the right thing when my world is on fire and I can’t put it out.

Well, today while I raged at the frustration of spinning my wheels, God sent me a reminder that he wants me to use my talent. That the books are absolutely what he wants me doing and that he has a plan, even if I can’t see it.

I’ve been pretty insecure about the books lately. This year is just disappointing. Muse isn’t cooperating. Queries aren’t being answered. The press is still silent. It makes me wonder if I sent them a crap book. So I’ve searched out more betas, this time in my genre (spy/thriller) and I’ve given them book one (which, might not be book one anymore, but I digress).

And I just got the most heart-wrenchingly beautiful initial review. The kind that reaffirms everything I started to doubt. Things, I already believed, but seeing them from a stranger just made them REAL.

“Many writers know the craft but few can fashion the desire for the reader to immerse themselves into the emotions etched between the lines…” And that is just a portion, but it makes my heart sing!

So, thank you all for your support!

IMAGE: The Chief of Israeli intelligence would be named after a cat 😉 Meet my angel-cat, Abner.


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